Ephesians 6:4 reads, "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

I want to look at the last part of this verse and ask three questions;
Why is this important to God?
What does it mean, what's involved, what does it look like?
What are the results?

First then, Why is this important to God?

Turn in your Bibles to Genesis 18:16-19. Here we read the following:

Then the men rose from there and looked toward Sodom, and Abraham went with them to send them on the way. 17And the LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, 18"since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19"For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him."

God had promised Abraham in chapter 12 that He would bless the world through him. He is primarily referring to the coming of the promised Messiah through Abraham. In this passage in Genesis 18, God is wondering to Himself whether He should tell Abraham what He is planning to do to Sodom and Gomorrah. In this discussion in the Godhead, God reviews the plans that Abraham will become a great and mighty nation. Then in verse 19 He gives the reason for His choosing of Abraham.

He says that He knew him in order that he may command his children after him that they may keep the way of the Lord to do righteousness and justice. It's interesting to me that God's stated purpose here for having known Abraham and bringing these promised blessings to him is that he should begin a long line of people who would command their children after them to keep the ways of the Lord.

Turn in your Bibles now to Malachi 2:15. which reads, "But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.

This passage comes in the context of God's instruction concerning divorce, but the thing that is interesting here is that God's dismay over divorce is based upon the fact that He is seeking godly offspring.

God wants godly lines that extend in all directions that there might be godly people would keep the way of the Lord and do righteousness and justice. Psalm 97:2 tells us that righteousness and justice are the foundation of God's throne.

So why does God want us to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? Because He is interested in godly lines.

Turn back in your Bibles now to Ephesians 6:4

What does it mean to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Let's look at the meaning of these different words involved in our text.

Bring up means to nourish. The dictionary defines nourish as feeding with substances necessary for life and growth, to stimulate, develop and spport.

My father-in-law was an avid gardener. He knew how to raise many different kinds of plants. In order to do this successfully he had to know what kind of minerals, soil, sunshine and water each kind of plant needed. He needed to know each kind of plant particularly. Then, knowing what they need, he had to supply each plant with those necessary conditions so that they would flourish.

In the same way, fathers (note that Eph 6:4 is addressed to fathers), who then delegate some of the responsibility to mothers, need to know where their children are in their spiritual growth. They need to know what they need at this particular stage and then they need to supply what is needed. This does not happen by accident. I takes planning. It takes testing the soil which means that a father needs to spend time with his children, listening to them and talking to them so that he can gain an insight into their lives and spiritual growth. Only then can he prescribe what is needed to help and sustain the growth.

In Peter we are told that husbands are to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. How much more do we need to have knowledge about our children so that we can help them in their formative years.

The Bible teaches us that the Word is nourishment. There is the milk of the Word and the meat of the Word. Fathers need to study and to plan so that they can provide their children with what they need. So many children are raising themselves. I'm not just speaking of children in single parent homes. There are children growing up in two-parent Christian homes who are raising themselves because the father and mother are not actively nourishing their children, providing them with the nutrients and support they need at each stage of spiritual and emotional growth.

So we've seen what bring up means. We are to bring them up in the nurture… What does nurture mean? The definition of nurture is child training, chastisement and discipline. This is the word that Pilate used in Luke 23 when he said of Jesus, "I will chasten him and let him go." It is the same word used in Hebrews 12 where Scripture tells us that the Lord chastens whom he loves. In I Cor 11:32 we are told that we are chastened by the Lord so that we are condemned with the world.

The idea of nurture involves the discipline we apply to the lives of our children.
Prov 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son
Pov 22:15 The rod drives out foolishness
Prov 23:13 do not withhold correction

The world there are natural laws that produce consequences. The natural consequences of allowing your children to freely play on a state highway would be severe injury or death. When our children play too near the road, we may bring artificial consequences into their lives to teach them not to play in the road. These consequences brought into their lives by us are the nurturing discipline that they need to prevent foolishness from taking hold.

Admonition means to "put in mind". This is training by the word whereas nurture is more the training by action. There is another interesting word that is sometimes used to describe verbal opposition to an action. This word is remonstrating. This means to plead in protest or demonstrate opposition. The reason I bring this up is that remonstration is not a substitute for admonition.

I was a high school principal for a number of years and I often saw parents remonstrate against the behavior of their children. They would tell them that they were opposed to their behavior, but it was powerless in effecting any change in the children's actions. Look at the situation with Eli in I Sam 2:23

So he said to them, "Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. 24"No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the LORD's people transgress.

Eli told his sons that he didn't approve of what they were doing. But it was powerless in their lives.

I Sam 3:13 says,

"For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them.

We are talking about grown up sons here. Eli's efforts to train them weren't enough to please God.

The Word of God was given for our admonition. Therefore our admonishments should rest heavily on biblical teaching.

So we see that we should nourish our children, providing them what they need by bringing discipline into their lives and proper admonition from the Word of God. None of this happens without careful planning and wisdom based on Scripture.

Finally in our text Paul says that the nurture and admonition is "of the Lord".

We are to nourish them in the sphere and context of God's discipline and admonition. We are God's agents. It is not self-serving as some would suggest to teach our children to obey us. We teach them to obey us not because we are selfish. We teach our children to obey us because God says that this is the first commandment with promise that it may go well with them. Children need to be taught and God has given us that responsibility.

In Heb 12:9-10 and 14 the Bible tells us that our natural fathers disciplined us as seemed best to them. None of us is a perfect parent. Even when we are seeking to follow God's way, we can only do what seems best to us as guided by His Word. In comparison to our natural father, our heavenly Father's motive is for our profit - that we might share in His holiness. Even though we are imperfect at this, shouldn't it be our motive as well to teach and train our children so that they would share in God's holiness?

We look at god's methods and we see both His chastening and His admonishment - all aimed at creating His image in us. As we raise our children it needs to be in the context of God's chastening and admonishment. We are to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Since I have been thinking about these things I have been reading Proverbs in a different light. Proverbs 2:1 for examples says: My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you, … Chapter 3:1 says: My son, do not forget my law…

These are examples of a father speaking to his children about the ways of God and how very practical decisions should be made in life based on these principles. He talks about choosing friends, staying away from temptation, seeking wisdom, etc. In Proverbs 3:4 he gives the result: "And so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man."

This leads us to the result. We have looked at why God is interested in this - He wants a godly seed. We've looked at what the words mean in Ephesians 6:4. And now we see the result - favor with God and man.

Scripture tells us of two other men who increased in favor with God and man. One is Samuel in I Samuel 2:26 and the other is Jesus in Luke 2:40,51,52.

Favor is the same word as grace. Therefore, the first result is a person who is growing in favor with God - that is growing in grace. Our goal is to raise children who are pleasing to God. He is the one who is looking for godly seed. Think about what it would be like to know that your children were growing in favor with God. God tells us that he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. He told Eli in I Sam 2:30 "Those who honor me I will honor and those who despise me shall be lightly esteemed." Don't we want our children to be in favor with God?

The second result is favor with men. Certainly we realize that in this world there will be persecution. Those who live Godly will suffer persecution. There are some however who make it a goal to be persecuted as much as possible. Our goal should not be persecution but serving the Lord faithfully and if persecution results, so be it. But generally speaking, those who are honest, just and righteous enjoy the favor of those around them. Look at Joseph for example. We are told that God was with him and he had plenty of trouble during that time. However, he found favor with Potipher and then the jailor and then Pharoah. Even though he was persecuted there was another sense in which he was respected for his honesty and reliability.

God wants a godly seed - generations of believers who live justly and righteously. We as parents are the tools he has chosen to accomplish this task. He wants us to nourish our children with what they need. He wants us to discipline them and admonition them so that they grow in favor with God and with man.

May God help us as we engage ourselves in this task for God's glory.